10 Things Pakistani Men Talk About When Drunk

Alcohol restrictions were introduced in Pakistan back in 1977, but that hasn’t stopped men from popping open a bottle ( or multiple bottles ) with friends and talking deep into the night as the mashroob-e-mashriq flows freely.  These conversations encompass a multitude of things, from the sublime to the ridiculous (usually the latter), and over here we cover a few of those very topics :



Zardari is the poster boy for all drunk discussions in Pakistan, followed closely by Nawaz Sharif and Imran Khan.

“Yar ye Zardari BC ne dobara game kar di..”

“Ganja Harami samajhta kya hai..”

“Sir jee..Imran Ka scene off hai..”

2.Former Romances

'Your heart, sir, torn out, stomped on and handed back to you in a doggie bag. Will there be anything else tonight?'

Love interests, especially failed ones, come up in drunken discussions quite regularly.  After the anger subsides, the intoxicated romeo is reassured that the woman he is stressing about wasn’t worth it to begin with.  Because in Pakistan, it’s always the other person’s fault.

3.Upcoming Romances


Potential love interests also take up a considerable about of time as Pakistani men begin the task of polishing off a liquor bottle. Magic tricks to woo the love interest are in abundance, although their practicality is always up for question.

4.Old Drunken Stories


“Bhai saab tou apni gharee guma aye thay..”

“Us din tou itni pee li thi ke tera bhai out ho gya tha..”

” ultaa para tha bhai us din..”

So on and so forth, among other legendary bhai stories.



This comes up especially when the gathering involves people following different belief systems. Surprisingly, the discussion never gets aggressive.

Serving our Maulanas a few Beers every time they come on TV might not be the worst idea in the world.

6.Annoying Co-Workers


The prick who is always trying to outdo you at work. The dick who is always sucking up to the boss. The douche who stays late and makes the rest of us look bad.

Every single time.



A topic for the ages. From the ones who have nothing good to say about the national team, to the ones who have only good things to say about the national team, and everyone in between. There is no discussion like a cricket discussion aided by liquor.

8.Masterplans for the future


From moving abroad, to quitting your job and starting a business despite having zero capital. This is where brainstorming of the most epic proportions comes into action because if history has taught us one thing it is this – all good decisions come in a state of drunk bliss.

9.Tales of yore


From college days, to the first time your group of friends met, to tales so embarrassing they need a whole new content rating system. A drunk gathering wouldn’t be the same without it, would it?

10.Avoiding the Cops


Getting home without being pulled over by the Cops isn’t exactly a challenge, but it is one that comes up towards the end of the night. Ensuring you have sufficient cash to give the cops for ‘Chaaye Paani’ incase you get pulled over is of utmost importance.

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